So?

"All that noise and all that sound
All those places I got found"



Sleep, sleep, sleep.Why would he wake up now? it's his world, and nothing can go wrong here.The fog will never go if he doesn't want to, and even if the fog is forgotten and let go, then surelly his newly mirage would be a good one.Why wake up? why so many worries, and why after all of this, so many things going wrong.He is not sorry for things done, because all were for a better life, he's sorry for the pain he caused..he always were, but eyes were too blinded by anger to see things were not as they seem.....But what about the fog then?..well the fog it's still a thing that he couldn't understand, and after a "way of measuring time" he believe he understood one thing...it's not the fog he wants, it's what it represents, but even the new mirage cannot stick with him...actually, Dante cannot stick with mirage.

"Can you hear my heart beating?
Can you hear that sound?
Cause I can't help thinking
And I won't stop now"

He hates his being, he hates his two arms, his two ways of measuring the weight, hate how he wants want things and need nothers.Are you laughing now? you have no reason, He never intented to harm, and if you are really that smart you will understant the horror that he needs to face every day.They say, well, at least he says that we need to be honest, he was almost every time, but still he is the one that suffer every single day with his truth told, and you blame him for being honest?you thing he wanted that honesty? his search was over...why would he destroy his smile?..because it wasn't a real one..Why blame him for ending them all? can't you see he's not happy?He got his hands on that mirage...just wait till it dissapear, will you laugh then?Well done then.Pity? oh no...don't show him pity, just understand him...you were lucky enough to know, but enough with this.

"but here i lie
on my own in a seperate sky
and here i lie
on my own in a seperate sky
i don't wanna die
on my own here tonight "

And now Dante is waiting again, waiting to see if his mirage will became true...(unfinished)

Always

Incerc astazi sa insirui toate probleme, pentru ca eu inca sper ca atunci cand le arunci oriunde, chiar si pe foaie ele dispar.Un gand strain, care nu ma cunoaste deloc, imi urla continuu in cap, si imi spune sa le infrunt, pentru ca doar asa le pot invinge, si numai asa pot trece peste...eu ii spun sa isi vada de treaba lui, ca inca nu sunt sigur daca ma cunosc eu destul de bine, mai ales voi criticii mei.Un singur lucru stiu..am incercat din toata inima sa lel infrunt, poate hotararea pe care eu o consider maxima nu e indeajuns pentru a putea razbate, si nici ea, nici ea, nici ea si nici ea nu poate sa ma ajute..doar tu:)..incearca sa intelegi te rog, dar totul nu e asa evident cum pare, si inca odata ascund adevaratele sensuri in spatele unor cuvinte simple, dar de data asta nu de frica de a fi inteles, ci de teama ca acel inteles sa nu fie ignorat...in fine, iar aberez...
Inconjurat de o armata de realitati virtuale incerc sa o gasesc pe cea in care imi am locul meu, insa imi tot doresc sa intru in cea in care nu am reusit sa imi termin rostul.Fara username e totusi imposibil, iar daca mai pui si ca parola e schimbata o sa realizezi ca nu are nici un rost, orice idioat din lumea asta ar realiza asta, insa unul isi impune cu incapatanare sa reuseasca in situatii in care foarte putini incearca, sa nu mai vorbim de reusite.Imi sabotez fiecare sansa la fericire pe care o am, si ma arunc cu capul inainte in autodistrugere..de ce sa imi caut sfarsitul, cand eu am sfarsit deja odata?
Singurul joc pe care l-am adorat a fost unul scurt, cu un nivel final de care nu am reusit sa trec, si despre care mai toti mi-au spus ca e facut astfel incat sa nu il treaca nimeni nicioadata, dar eu incerc.Nu are cum sa nu se termine, trebuie sa fie o chestie oricat de mica sau mare, grea sau usoara pe care sa o pot face, si nici nu vreau sa ma gandesc la faptul ca cineva joaca acel joc in locul meu...nu vreau sa vad pe altcineva cum joaca nivelele trecute de mine, si atat de iubite de mine...am iubit grafica simpla a jocul, textura nu atat de reusita, dar in felul sau excelenta..insa la fel ca toate jocurile...ramane un simplu joc, iar realitatea e altfel...realitatea e o mare...si nici nu vreau sa ma gandesc ca nu am ce sa caut aici.Nici acum, nici maine, nici poimaine...doar ieri!



"I've got soul, but i'm not a soldier"

Trough fire part two

Si acum sunt in fata unei asteptari..dupa atata timp inca pot astepta? nu, cu siguranta nu.Citeam despre marii tacticieni ai lumii, si nici unul nu a terminat neinvins.Toti au ajuns intr-un moment in care au fost invins, iar in ciuda tuturor eforturilor nimeni, niciodata nu a ramas in picioare.Nu am vrut niciodata sa fiu tactician, am crezut insa ca poate asa voi obtine rezultatele cele mai bune.Mai am inca o lupta de dus, apoi ma voi retrage, acum depinde si retragerea cum va fi.Obosit, insangerat si singur, pe o vremea ploioasa, voi astepta in varful turnului meu ultima batalie.Am castigat atat de multe, incat nu mai am emotii, dar disparitia emotiilor tine si de infrangerile din ultimul timp, ajutoarele m-au abandonat pentru ca acum totul depinde de mine, m-au lasat sa imi infrunt demonii singur, iar eu ii astept cu placere stiind ca mai mult nu voi putea pierde niciodata.Este exact imaginea conducatorului decazut si pregatit sa isi primeasca ultima lovitura, dupa care poate cobora pe pamant, printre muritori, printre chestiile banale de zi cu zi, pe pamantul plictisit de pasi trantiti doar pentru ca lumea trebuie sa mearga inainte.
Gandurile il prind din urma, stie ca va fi invins mai mult ca sigur, si nu doreste sa astepte ultima lovitura, nu a facut-o niciodata, nu a avut rabdare niciodata, si mai bine moare luptand decat sa se lase batut pur si simplu.Din inaltul turnului, Dante coboara pentru a isi intalni adversarul, pentru a forta lupta, de fapt finalul ei, pe care il stia de mult timp si pe care nu mai avea rabdare sa il astepte.Ranit, isi gandeste ultima sa tactica, nu va putea face fata insa, niciodata armatei ce vine puternic sa il distruga.Impins din spate conducatorul advers infige sabia inima batranului tactician, care incercand sa mai raspunda cumva, cade insangerat in mijlocul cetatii sale.Din acest moment si-a pierdut orice urma de umanitate, a devenit un strigoi caruia nu ii mai pasa de nimic, care se uita in spate si nu isi da seama pentru ce a luptat atat.Cetatea lui va fi castigata si recastigata la infinit.Toate luptele sale au fost pentru nimic, cetatea nu isi dorea un asemenea conducator.Intins pe ceea ce era odata pamantul sau, Dante nu isi mai iroseste puterile sa isi revina, dorinta sa de a isi recastiga tronul a disparut, s-a saturat sa lupte si acum se multumeste cu starea sa de strigoi.Singurul lucru ce ii mai aminteste ca odata a fost om este recele otelului trecut prin ceea ce a fost odata inima sa.

Trough fire part one

Si as putea scrie o mie de lucruri, o intreaga carte, as putea fi mai stufos decat cea mai stufoasa carte si mai atent decat conducatorul unui far, as putea fi mai inteligent decat Einstein, sau mai romantic decat Romeo, mai bun tactician decat Napoleon si mai atragator decat Paris, si chiar daca o sa fiu Merlin tot nu voi putea vraji pe nimeni, pentru ca nimeni nu inseamna nimic, ci nimeni inseamna totul, iar totul inseamna doar o poarta, un leagan, un catel prost, un joc ce nu isi mai are loc, un hamac vechi legat de doua stalpuri de fier intre care si-au pierdut existenta mai multe cutii cu muzica, intre care isi va mai pierde existenta inca unul, cel mai important, cel care conteaza, eu contez?
Am umblat pe acele strazi chinuite de minciuna doar ca sa dau de un adevar strain mie, dar care mi-l doream atat de mult, si pe care l-am acceptat atat de repede, l-am iubit atat de repede, l-am urat la fel de repede si l-am pierdut, nu repede, incredibil de repede.
Orbit de pepene
M-am gandit cum sa imi aduc alaturi un cosmar, nestiut inca, aproape...am aflat ca a fi intr-un grup de patru nu e bine, ca sa mori e mai bine decat sa traiesti degeaba, si ca degeaba e mult mai aproape de normal decat orice.
E noapte...e vara, sunt stele, esti acasa, sunt acolo, obosit, beat, fericit, lumea e a mea....fals...lumea e a ta...esti un inger stramb, dar mie imi place ploaia, si nu conteaza ca nu intelegi nimic, nu trebuie, de fapt ar trebui dar oricum degeaba intelegi...era vara, si o rugaciune isi face loc printre vapori de alcool si nori rasfirat.Imi caut copacul, si in acelasi timp caut si persoana care va fi alaturi de mine pentru totdeauna, dar dau gres, caut acolo unde nu era cazul, caut unde nu se poate si uit ce se poate.

Nonsens 5

Soare......Distractie.....Inocenta.....Primul vis...Prima deceptie...Tom....Jack...Jeleu....Eugenie....Minge....Parc...Bataie....Lacrimi....Prima casa...Primul tricou cu 7....Prima cruce...Doi prieteni....Reportofon...Prostie...Turca....Prima data cand imi dau seama ca lumea nu e cum trebuie sa fie...Primul telefon ascuns...Prima tradare...Scopuri bune...Rezultat prost...Clasa a 7-a....O idila tampita...Doua...Trei...Golul dedicat...Primul drum dublu...Primul zambet cu adevarat talamb...Primul 6....Al doilea....A doua casa...Primul moment hotarator...Prima depresie...Primul somn...Prima deschidere...Prima palma...Primul succes...Vara...Primul sarut...Iarba...Casa pustie..Deja-vu..Primul secret..Prima idee...Prima despartire....Prima discutie...Prima indiferenta..Discutie..Dezamagire..Speranta..Asteptare..Iubire..Prima alergare...Primul papuc..Taiat in doua..Cearta..Impacare..Cearta..Impacare......Cearta........Impacare..............Cearta..Vineri..Alune..Biliard...Taraba ...Ploaie..Depresie...Cearta....Viva...Scrubs...What if...A treia persoana...Degeaba...A doua persoana..Bloc..Total Club..Road Trip..Vin..Vin..Vin..Gheata..Ceata...Beci...Bere...Metru...Sala Bloc..Dorinta..Dezamagire..Experienta..Vara...Coldplay...Fix you...Acasa...Beci..Bere..Awful Date..Sala...Diminieata..Lovitura din senin..Glume..Parc..Revelion...Casa...Perdea..Prost..Film..Scoala...Pregatire...Fotbal...Fotbal...Prima...Scoala...Parc...Ocazie..Casa...Scoala...Ocazie...Impacare..Numarul 3...Mandrie...Despartire...Regret...Inainte...Florii...Mesaj...Nostalgie...Luna...Scoala...Discutie...Moment Prost...Idee proasta...Decizie proasta...Lacrimi...Coldplay...Vara...Bere...Mare...Balcon...Aiurea...Moon...Acasa...O tampenie de luni...O falsa reusita...Departe...Tragedie..Singur..Him...My little mouse...Portocaliu...Orbit...Pepene...Etajul 2...Teren...Portocaliu...Alb....Galben...Noapte....Sala...6-7 frumuseti...Balcon...Jumatate...Mesaj...Minciuna..Incurca-lume...Drum...Masina...Centru...Rahat..Casa...Discutie...Rahat...Coada...Vorbe...Secret...Noapte..............Rahat..........Zi...Certuri...Aiurea...Degeaba...Bila...Ciudat...Frig...Cinema...Ciudat...Frig...Portocaliu...Munte...Axel...Idiot...Calzone...Portbagaj...Bloc...Pufuleti...Portocale...Coji...Banca...Noapte...Cearta...Prieteni...Revelion...Cuib...Bine...Conducator...Cupa...Rosu...Pat...Patura...:-s...:">....16...Rock'n Roll....Camera...Gol....Calatorie...Inainte...Noapte...Ploaie...Lacrimi...I'll never...Munte...Pai...Masa...I'll never....Padure...Mare...Poker...Soare....Nori...Prima...Livada...Intelegere...Cearta....Pistol....Acasa...Drum...Lacrimi...Totul va fi ok....A treia casa...Depresie...Prima Minciuna...Departe....Lacrimi...Fals....Minciuna....Vineri...Fals..Drum...Mp3...Cearta...Minciuna...Drum...Minciuna....Minciuna....Sila....Ajuns...Dezamagire...Sila...Acasa...Killers...Coasta...Mana...Umar...Lacrimi...Nervi...Minciuna...Zua...Minciuna...Sila...Obisnuinta...Hi5...Scanteie...Minciuna...Falsitate...Tu...Speranta....Dorinta...Deal...Stele...Dorinta...Rugaminte...Tu...Copac...Bustean...TU!...Vis...Speranta...Catuse....Maini legate la spate...Nervi...Fals...Minciuna...Ura...Scapare...Degete...Nisip...Oboseala...Sila...Minciuna...Tu...Nonsens...Snap!...Speranta...Lasitate...Prostie...Uituc...Prostie...Cusca...Inchis...Prins...Legat...6...Primul Semn...Prost...Mai rau...Nu ma poti opri sa visez...18...Putere...Simplitate...Nevoie de evadare...Rugaminti...Snap:-<...Lume...Paralel...Eu...Doi Bani.....Minciuna...Nesimtire...Sila....Tu....Speranta....Vis....Casuta...Noi....Leagan...Scari...Snap...Pauza...Minciuna...Prostie...Minciuna...Putere...Slabire...Iertare...De ce?...3 luni...Prostie...Drum...Frica....Nervozitate....Brusc..Curba...Noroc...Praf...Primul dus...Poker.......Pub...Fum....Anglia...TU...eu..Vis...Speranta...Snap!..Banca...8...Parc...Gluma...Serios...Gluma?...Serios...:-j...Minciuna...Minciuna....Minciuna....Minciuna...Bere...Mare...Cosmar...Minciuna...Minciuna...AJUNGE..nu...Bere...Minciuna...Ajunge...nu...Minciuna...1...Gata...Ajunge...nu...2...Munte...Stea...Seara...Tequilla...Lacrimi...Nervi...Stare falsa de bine...Increderea prea multa...Degeaba...Cap in pamant...Relaxare...Sila...Oboseala...Plictiseala...Seara...Singur...Net...TU...SNAP!...:-o...SNAP!....Aminte...Snap...Nonsens...Tu....Deal...Stele...Dorinte...TU...Aparitie...303....A ajuns...TU...Tu...Tu...Tu.......TU!

Concerns

Acest rezumat nu este disponibil. Dați clic aici pentru a vedea postarea.

Go on

"He said I'm going to buy this place and burn it down
I'm going to put it six feet underground
He said I'm going to buy this place and watch it fall
Stand here beside me baby in the crumbling walls"


In a wet season like this he's alone...Nobody would face this cold weather.Everybody else were home, laughing, spending quality time with family.The rain was covering him, creating some kind of shell, a protection from the world in wich he feels like an outsider.The thunders symphony may be the only song that he may understand now, any other looking foolish.He had enough, and wants to end it quickly, before having any doubts, but he's standing for a few hours with death facing him, and doesn't have the guts to jump.Home plan went all wrong, and tries to remember her, starts to think about other dissapointments.Dante takes one step forward.His right foot is over the entire city, but his left one still doesn't want to go away.Its indecision retreat his brother, and a new wave of thoughts came.Why should he do this, is it worth it?Is it the world a place where he cannot smile anymore, or to smile requires hard work, and everybody knows Dante forgot to fight.Sure, he heard a story at the tv where everything you want, you can do, but he is very sure those people are hired to say what we want to hear, we need to be calmed down, but He is aware they all lie.He hate that damn reporter, how can he speak about being calm and going forward, if he never were in a situation like that.He remebers again about the things that initialy drove him on the tallest building around.He's walking to his end.


"All the movements you're starting to make
See me crumble and fall on my face
And I know the mistakes that I made
See it all disappear without a trace"


Before he took that jump, he wanted to take a one last view at the world wich he was about to left behind.The raindrops still washed his forehead, they were the only ones who stood by him even in this dark day.Flashes from the sky wanted to immortalise the tragic show.He smiles looking up, his old enemy finally got him on his knees.One step, and all this pain would dissapear, one step and all that mocking, all those time being cheated were about to end.


"Some'll laugh and some just sit and cry
But you just sit down there and you wonder why"


They say few moments before death we saw our entire life in front of our eyes, but even in this damn moments all he could see was her smiling in a wrong direction, hearing her throwing easy words all over, making no sense, but hurting like hell.She was just a simple mortal, with narrow mind, and now he felt unnaturally better.In that moment something clicked in his mind....He realised that giving up would be a huge mistake, throwing the towel would please only one corner, and he wasn't in that corner.She was such a small thing to bother him.He started to laugh hysterically..."How could i be so blind, how could i let her drive me insane, I felt once the dust, i don't need to do this again.My mind can take more and more, but i shouldn't stop going on with my search, because all I want may be in front on me, I just need to open the doors easily"

The rain stopped.Drops of water mixed with sweat still travels on his body.He had a tough day, but learned the best lesson.From now on his knees will never touch the ground, at least not for anybody that don't deserve it.Dante found peace...


"So meet me by the bridge, meet me by the lane
When am I going to see that pretty face again
Meet me on the road, meet me where I said
Blame it all upon
A rush of blood to the head "