Here's your letter

"Oh dear Holly,

It's been a long long time, and I'm still counting the days until this empty sickness fades away.I wanted to write you earlier, but I thought it would be to soon, and I didn't want to screw things up.The truth is that I still have this pain, still the only image that pass trough my head is your smile, and I know that this is not good, but I don't care anymore, I stopped caring long time ago.
I hate you Holly, but I love you like hell.Between tons of stuff that you've learned me is this stupid unnatural feeling, this combination of hate of love, and I still remember how you learned me how to appreciate stupid and silly things, and yes, Holly, cows still makes me laugh.
What about you? how are things for you? I've always wanted to be your lifeguard.How silly is this? I don't care anymore.What's the purpose of being a good man if I don't have you? I'm sick of this sharks that won't let me forget.You know which is the most awful, lonely period? Night! I go sometimes to sleep because I miss you so much, and I know that I will see you there, and from this point of view I am always satisfied, because you always show up..every fuckin' night you are there, next to me.The biggest disappointment though is when I wake, and realise that the sweet talk comes only from the wind blowing trough my rusty window.
I need to go back to those times or go away forever, Holly eventually I will be of this spell but you don't need to hear this, do you? It's ok, I learned many in six years.I learned to control myself, I learned to forgive, to understand, to be anything but me when needed, and to be me any other time.I've learned that you cannot force anything, that being there for someone makes me happy only in very few circumstances, I learned to have faith, to trust again, to pay attention to others needs, to wait..
I'm tired.I'll go to bed now, forgive me for this poor letter, I just wanter to get it done.I'll wrap it up, but remember, Holly, I'm always wanting you...



Your old friend,

Dante"